10 Tips for Dating After a Divorce

October 3, 2018
Posted by Aimee

Diving into the world of dating is tough, but it can be even tougher to re-enter that scene after a divorce. You might still be in pain, whether you ended your marriage last week or last year. Only you can decide when you’re ready for another relationship. When you think it’s time to look for love, here are a few tips that can make dating after divorce easier.

Make Sure You’re Ready to Date

You’ll be feeling a lot of emotions right after a divorce, and possibly for years to come. It’s normal to feel sad now and then, even if the divorce was amicable. Know yourself and keep careful track of your emotional state so you can differentiate between feelings of loneliness and actually wanting a new relationship.  

Define What You’re Looking for in a Relationship

Once you decide to begin dating, ask yourself what you’re looking to get out of the experience. A few casual coffee meetups? A new relationship? Something in between? Whatever you decide, be sure to communicate your desires to any potential new partner, so you don’t end up with your wires crossed.

Leave Your Ex Behind

An “easy” divorce is the ideal, but not necessarily the norm. When you do decide it’s time to begin going on a few dates, keep track of your emotions as you’re easing back into the dating scene. If you find yourself constantly comparing your new dates to your ex-spouse, that might be a sign that you’re not actually ready to date.  

Know Your Worth

Dating is different now, both because the scene has changed and because you have. While the prevalence of online dating may not seem like a positive change, the changes you’ve gone through are far more important. You’re older, wiser, and perfectly situated to go out and get what you want–whether that’s a committed relationship or someone to date casually.

Don’t Let Dating or a New Relationship Become Your Life

Maybe your former spouse was your childhood sweetheart. Maybe you don’t remember what it’s like to not be in a relationship. Don’t hurl yourself headlong into the next great romance. Instead, take some time to yourself first, and get reacquainted with yourself as a single person before you decide to enter a new relationship.

Embrace New (Solo!) Experiences

Maybe you decided a change of scenery would be a good way to overcome the pain of a divorce and have just moved to a new area or town. Take some time to explore your new home on your own. Fall in love with fresh experiences, like trail running or browsing local shops or coffee houses. And, who knows? You just might meet someone organically while you’re enjoying those new experiences!  

Don’t Let Your Kids Become an Excuse

Raising children is a full-time job in itself, and things only get more complicated when it comes to sharing custody or explaining to your kids why their other parent is moving out. It would be easy to fill the gap created by your divorce with more time spent with your children. But, depending on their ages, they’ll need some amount of space and independence as they grow and you will as well. Consider employing a babysitter from time to time, so that you can make some time for you during this time of adjustment.

Pick Up the Phone

Texting is a convenient way to communicate, but don’t be afraid to hop on a quick call to schedule an upcoming date. It might seem old-fashioned, but hearing each other’s voices can help establish rapport and lead to an easier conversation on your date.

Be Kind to Yourself

You might feel like your divorce is a sign that you’re “bad” at relationships or not meant to find love, but the fact that you’re willing to try again after a painful experience is all the evidence against that thought you need. You might not meet your perfect partner on your first date, and that’s alright.

Try Matchmaking After Divorce

You don’t have to navigate post-divorce dating alone. Professional matchmaking takes the stress out of dating and leaves you with the fun of getting to know a potential partner. At LunchDates, our experienced team of dating professionals will get to know you in order to determine the key qualities of your ideal match. We’ll then set up a casual date and can even provide post-date advice. This feedback can be invaluable as you get back into the dating world.

About LunchDates

Over the last three decades, LunchDates has earned a reputation as the most trusted professional matchmaking service in the greater Boston area. We know that many career-minded professionals simply don’t have the time to spend on an endless string of first dates. Our experienced professional matchmakers take care of the screening process for you by finding your best match! Contact us today to learn more about how you can find love with LunchDates.

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