It’s easy to feel insecure about dating later in life when many of your friends might already be in committed relationships. You might be trying to date post-divorce, or you may never have dated and are just starting to dip your toes into that world. Wherever you’re coming from, it’s perfectly understandable to feel self-conscious, or even like you’re doing dating “wrong.”
The good news is that there’s no one right way to date. The even better news is that there are steps you can take to improve your chances of dating successfully. At LunchDates, we’re dedicated to providing you with the tools and support you need to find love. Our expert dating coaches have put together a guide to dating over 40, so you can evaluate your dating practices and figure out what works best for you.
Before you go on another date, it’s important to take stock of how dating and relationship practices have changed over the years. Expectations and values are not necessarily what they were when you were in your 20s. Neither is the way people go about finding a date. We’ve entered an age of online dating and dating apps, where it’s not considered out of the ordinary to go on a date with someone you’ve only interacted with over the Internet.
Some of these changes aren’t ideal. If you don’t want to meet up with a complete stranger from an app, you might find it difficult to set up a first date as a busy professional. On top of the online dating issue, it may seem like all of your peers are in committed relationships, and no one seems to have a great single friend to set you up with. How can you meet someone when it’s become almost impossible to make a romantic connection organically?
At the end of the day, dating is still about enjoying another person’s company and finding out whether he or she is a good match for you. The slight nervousness of a first date, the casual small talk and basic questions, and the thrill of connecting with another person will probably never change. Make sure you always remember the eternal optimism inherent in dating–the hope and belief that you might find your ideal romantic partner.
The ultimate key to successful dating after 40 is to be your authentic self. Don’t be nervous or overconfident–just be yourself. Beyond that basic rule, here are a few steps you can take to increase your chances of dating successfully.
No one knows you better than you know yourself, particularly after decades of life experience. What do you like? What do you dislike? At this age, you know who you are–so go after a kindred spirit, instead of wasting time on someone who’s not a good match. Enter the dating scene with confidence in the fact that you’re a fully-formed, well-rounded person with a wealth of knowledge and quirks to share.
Maybe you have entire relationships behind you. Maybe you’re getting frustrated with endless first dates that never turn into second ones. Maybe this is the first date you’re going on in years. Whatever your situation, make sure you know what you’re looking for when it comes to a potential partner. Do you want a casual relationship, someone to see once in a while? Or are you hoping to find your perfect match, someone with whom you can see yourself settling into a romantic relationship with? Of course, be sure to communicate your desires to your partner as you begin dating.
A date gone wrong is not necessarily a reflection on you. It could mean that the connection wasn’t there, or that your date just wasn’t the right match for you. Don’t obsess over small details by any means, but do a quick mental replay after a date to note what went well and what went poorly–this way, you can make adjustments and find more success in the future. Was the conversation stilted? Come up with a few fun topics of conversation to talk about next time. Did dinner feel far too formal? Try a different restaurant, or opt for a casual coffee date.
At LunchDates, our professional team of dating experts has earned us a reputation as the most trusted matchmakers in Boston. We understand that your time is valuable, and you can’t afford to waste it on a string of first dates that never seem to go anywhere. LunchDates simplifies dating by setting you up on a casual date with your ideal match.
We’ve helped connect some of the most eligible business professionals in the greater Boston area. While these people don’t necessarily need our services to meet someone, they appreciate how much easier a professional matchmaker can make dating. If you’re ready to find your perfect match, we’re ready to help. Contact LunchDates today to find out more about how we can help you find love.
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