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It isn’t easy looking for love in your 50s. People in their 20s and 30s dominate many dating sites and generate the most amount of singles events. Even if you’re looking for some basic relationship advice, the over 50 population tends to get ignored when it comes to love. Thankfully, if you’re looking at this article, that probably means you’re already trying to make the most of your mature dating experience.
You don’t have to be stuck in dating limbo for months or years, wishing you weren’t spending some of the best years of your life alone. By following some simple tips from our Dating Coach experts at LunchDates, you can increase your odds of a successful dating outcome.
If you’re honest about who you are and what you want, you’ll have better results while dating. Try to keep these dos in mind when dating over 50. While it’s not an end all be all list, it is a good place to start.
You’re too mature to bother with trying to impress everyone. You don’t want to win a popularity contest here; you just want to attract someone with the same values and a complementary personality. You shouldn’t list the hobbies of your ex or a sport you played back in high school or college. What do you enjoy now? How do you spend your days?
You want to meet someone with compatible values and interests. Honesty is key to successfully finding the right person when you’re dating after 50.
Of course, you want to find someone you’re attracted to and intrigued by, but these shouldn’t be your only criteria for a partner. That kind of approach may have worked for you in your twenties, but as you mature, it won’t benefit you as much.
Focus on finding someone you want to spend time with, whose company makes you smile. You’re looking for someone to live with, travel with, and grow old with, not just show off at parties. Give yourself time before moving forward with physical intimacy, and don’t let your hormones solely impact your decision too much.
While it’s always wise to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person, you don’t need to drag baggage from your past relationship into your new dating experience.
Don’t compare every person to your ex or start each date by reiterating all the ways someone else has done you wrong. Instead, work on letting go of your negative feelings about the past, and focus on the future. The love of your life is still out there. You don’t want to scare him or her away by appearing too hung up on someone else.
Now that you’ve got the dos down, let’s move onto the don’ts. There are some things you just shouldn’t do when you’re looking for love over 50, are here are just a few.
If you want to end up in first date purgatory, using an unrealistic picture of yourself is the best way to get there. People stuck on their glory days and how they used to look are dwelling too much in the past. If you wonder, “why is dating after 50 so hard,” it might be because you’re trying to rely on who you used to be to meet new people.
Ask a friend, neighbor, or family member to help you take a current picture that is flattering but accurate. Natural lighting is always your best friend. Wear clothing you look and feel good in as well.
Many people have this mistaken idea that people over 50 should simply jump into new relationships with both feet. Introducing your new date to your children, siblings, or other family members is one way to know what the people closest to you think about the new relationship. It’s also a great way to put pressure on yourself and your partner to make things work.
Take your time and have fun getting to know each other first. If you let things progress naturally and it works out, you’ll meet each other’s families soon enough.
Being co-dependent isn’t healthy, and it isn’t a good basis for a relationship either. You should maintain your own identity outside of the people you’re dating. Focus on what makes you unique, interesting, and fun. Plan time for yourself, and make sure you have some free time to spend with family and friends outside of your dating life.
While it may be true that many popular websites and dating apps target the younger generation, that doesn’t mean you should give up on finding the right kind of help. Look for a local dating service or a dating app that focuses on your area and age bracket. Be realistic about what ages are appropriate when setting parameters for potential matches.
Also, don’t write off the possibility of meeting someone through a matchmaking service. Instead of endlessly swiping through profile images and not knowing how compatible you may be with a potential match, you can rely on the efforts of a matchmaking professional with experience and insight.
If you’re ready to find love after 50 in the Boston area, LunchDates should be your first choice for matchmaking services. We have decades of experience in connecting people for lasting relationships. Contact us today to set up an appointment and find the love you’ve been waiting for all your life!
