I must admit this particular topic interests all of us. How do we get a man to do what we want? I think women have been asking that since the beginning of time. Yet now it appears we suddenly have the answer! Just a click away are thousands of relationship experts, licence therapists, love doctors, dating coaches, magicians, and snake oil salesmen promising the secret recipe to get him to melt in your hands and say yes to anything you want.
On the flip side the idea of a male pick up artist (and how to become one) is common vernacular. There are numerous blogs, websites, books, and published magazine articles on how to pick up a chick. But women? Common knowledge dictates we only want men for relationships or money. Ok maybe sex occasionally. But #doublestandard let’s no even go there. Nothing in between. What if I just want to manipulate him into bringing me flowers once in a while? What’s a girl to do?
Enter into the online space of “Just say these 3 little words and he’ll be yours…” Believe me a hundred hours of watching a shameless promotional video on the next love course (or two) and it’s very disappointing. The wheel has not been reinvented. Ugh! No, the mystery of male mind control has not been solved by an online age of data or analytics. Without you scrolling through countless paragraphs of crap to get to the bottom line here of what you really want – the bullet points – below is the general consensus (for now). Full disclosure, just find an old married couple in their 80’s still madly in love, just ask the wife what works.
1. Smile – Grumpy much? Yeah everybody wants to date that! Too simple? This stuff hasn’t changed much in a few thousand years. Have bad teeth? Sans the dating, get a second job and a good dentist. Hey, I didn’t say you’d like the truth.
2. Body Language – Did you know that we receive 93% of our communication from nonverbal cues and only 7% from verbal? Watch yourself in the mirror. Pay attention to how you stand in a room, sit in a chair, walk down the street. Don’t believe me? Watch a Marilyn Monroe movie in silence. You may want to study the sexiest woman ever alive.
3. Confidence & Vulnerability – You need to have both. Real confidence projects the value you have about yourself. While vulnerability is the ability to share you emotions without the wall up. Definition of being vulnerable: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. That’s the chance you take if you really want to fall in love (or have him fall in love with you).
4. Let him take the lead – Sorry but this is old school too. Men are wired for competition. The need to feel like they worked hard for their reward. Don’t do the chasing, you’ll become the man in the relationship (who wants that?) and you’ll question if he ever really wanted you. See a guy from across the room you want to talk to? Look at him, smile, and when he looks away just linger a glance a moment longer so he catches you. Add said formula above and see what happens. Ok maybe you walk up and say “Hi” – but that’s it! 🙂
5. Ask for help – This may be a bit manipulative but I’m trying to reason with how we women communicate. We just want to talk about our problems. Men want to fix them. Ever see a man without a task to do? He’ll do anything to get busy again. Please help him. Think ‘damsel in distress’ but NOT ‘train wreck’! Fine line ladies, fine lines….
6. Laugh at his jokes – Men’s biggest fear is that we humiliate them. That’s old Freudian stuff. First off, I’m assuming you’re taking a turn listening instead of gabbing, and then you’re positively interacting with his verbal cues. “That’s amazing!” “You’re so smart! What a great idea!”. Think I’m wrong? Just try it.
7. Take care of your physical self – I won’t even tell you how many articles written by the male point of view mention physical attractiveness as one of the top if not the most important component of holding their attention. If you’re doing your best with what you have then kudos! However, if you’re rolling out of bed in those pjs and they’re still on at 11am, we need to chat.
This is an ever evolving list but it’s a great place to start. Nothing mind blowing, but could it be mind altering to your male friend? Mine as well try…
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