Can you imagine Peter Pan holding an IPhone in his hand, combing through the newest dating app? He would look at you in complete amazement. “All you have to do is swipe and you get a new date?” His eyes would sparkle with delight. A smirk would arise from his face. He’ll run off gleefully into the sunset, laughing for all eternity. Honestly, I don’t think you’d ever see him again. I mean, who needs Neverland when you have Tinder?
Peter Pan Syndrome: A disorder in which a man is unable to grow into maturity. They may grow physically as an adult, but choose to hang on to their childhood in avoidance of assuming responsibility like a mature person. They are men who always stay boys inside.
There is definitely a time and a place for one’s “Manolescence”. It provides a guy the natural breather, whether it’s a transition out of a long term relationship or a way to deal with a traumatic life event (can we say mid life crisis?). Being carefree and fun is a necessary and wonderful part of life, but there’s a line that is often crossed in the dating world. Here are the top 5 reasons why it will do you harm to act like a Peter Pan in the long run:
1. You’re not the only Peter Pan out there. Women are dating just as much as you. They are more likely to identify that you’re not serious and just playing games. They run into guys like you all of the time.
2. Men wanting relationships will get the quality women. The guys that actually want a commitment behave completely different than you. I mean the polar opposite. It’s easy to pick up on certain behaviors when you’re playing around. The smart, beautiful woman you’re after will walk away.
3. You won’t be taken seriously. Here’s some tough love. People will associate your Peter Pan lifestyle with your value as a person. If you don’t take yourself seriously, no one else will.
4. You may end up alone. Treating dating like a sport is a tough habit to break. Bad daters (and Peter Pans would fall into this category) will have to go through re-training and/or hire a dating coach, in order to attract a quality woman for a relationship. If you’re not that proactive, then that day may never come.
5. You’ll have to settle. You think you’re being selective when you’ve been serial dating for years. If there comes a time when you realize that you want to be in a relationship, you have to realize one thing, you now have some baggage.
Painful isn’t it? As much as online dating has provided a playground for adolescence tendencies, it is not without its recourse. Peter Pans can exonerate themselves. Date coaching is a great way to get back on track by identifying bad dating behavior. Anyone can improve their dating life if there is an earnest want to do so.
When you run out of pixie dust and you want to settle your feet on the ground, give me a call at LunchDates. Believe me, we can help. The singles that have left Neverland have done the work on themselves. They realize that fun and spontaneity happen at a deeper level, with more satisfaction, when they have a partner they can truly connect with.
Aimee Burke is a dating coach and matchmaker at LunchDates. Aimee specializes in date coaching for singles in the Boston area. She also serves as an executive matchmaker and recruits professional singles for her clients.
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