Divorce isn’t fun for anyone. Though it could be amicable on both sides, even leaving one or both parties feeling relieved, it’s usually messy and heartbreaking. Either way, a lot of strong emotions are attached to the process, and you might find yourself feeling differently about your status as a divorcée each day. As time passes, those feelings might fade, or they might decide to come back as strongly as on the day you signed the papers. It’s a challenging time, but it’s one that you’ll survive; a time that will make you stronger.
Your feelings about dating will also be all over the place after going through an event like this. Eventually, you’ll find yourself thinking about how you haven’t been on a date in a long time. That feeling could immediately be followed by guilt, excitement, or a whole host of other emotions. What should you really be feeling at a time like this? In the midst of so much confusion, how do you know when you’re actually ready to start dating after divorce? Our dating coaches have put together some advice to help you determine when that time has come.
Do Some Self-Reflection
Truthfully, you are the ultimate judge of whether or not you’re ready to get back into the dating scene after a divorce. No one can know you as well as you know yourself. That being said, here are a few questions you can ask yourself that will guide your thinking and help you in deciding when to begin dating again.
How Soon is Too Soon?
You could feel ready to start dating immediately after your divorce, particularly if your separation was mutual, or you might want to stay single for a time and enjoy your newfound freedom. The key is recognizing which of your many emotions are steady and which are still fluctuating. If you feel like you’re ready to go on a date, give yourself some time to adjust to the idea. Check in with yourself after a few days. Does going on a date still sound fun? Would meeting a new partner right now fill you with excitement or dread? If you’re not quite sure, give it some more time before you begin to date!
Can I Devote My Attention and Feelings to a New Partner?
Missing your former spouse is normal, and it’s okay to have those feelings even after you start dating again. But if you find yourself thinking about your past spouse constantly or comparing potential new partners to him or her, it’s too soon to get back into dating. When you go into a new relationship with half of your mind still on someone else, you’re hurting not only yourself, but your potential new partner as well.
Do I Even Want a New Partner?
Again, it’s important to take stock of your feelings when it comes to determining whether or not you should start dating. You might be lonely after divorce, but a spouse or partner isn’t the only way to stop those feelings of loneliness. Spend some time with your close friends, or meet new friends before you burst back onto the dating scene.
If you do want a new romantic connection, examine exactly what you’re looking for in a new partner, whether that’s someone to date casually or someone willing to take things to the next level. The more self-aware you are when beginning to date after divorce, the more likely you are to find a romantic connection that works for you and is considerate of your new partner.
Re-Enter the Dating Scene Successfully with LunchDates
Now that you’ve decided you’re ready to begin dating again, where do you start? Life (and the dating scene) is different now. You might have kids, or a house full of memories of your former spouse. Starting to date again while dealing with any remnants of your divorce can seem impossible, or at least like an immense amount of effort on your part. That’s where LunchDates, the best Boston matchmakers, can help.
Matchmaking after divorce is a great option for those who want to get back into dating but don’t know how to go about finding someone who is right for them. Our professional matchmakers have been helping to connect the most eligible working professionals in the Greater Boston area for over 30 years, with great care and success. Our services enable you to skip the superficial world of online dating and the frustration of first dates that never go anywhere.
Most of our clients have never used a matchmaking service before, but they quickly find out how much it can help in their search for love. Our experienced dating coaches will get to know you and find out what you’re looking for in a partner. From there, we’ll set up a casual date with someone we think would be a wonderful match for you. All you have to do is let the sparks fly! Contact us to find out more about how LunchDates can help you get back into dating and find your best match.
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