We wouldn’t like to say that friends don’t have great intentions while trying to set you up. However, when friends play matchmaker, with a pre-determined mind, the friendship is always put to a test. This is especially if and when the date ends up being sour. Keeping in mind that friends will always play as matchmakers in the smaller population of his or her friends, that’s of people they have interacted with before. Friends rarely have options in number. They think of Mary, Cate and Diana, all whom you have ever put your eyes on at one time.
Before you decide to play matchmaker, be sure you get to know the qualities that they are looking either in man or woman. This will assist you get the ideal persons and not cost you your friendship.
Here we shall look at some reason why you shouldn’t let your friend play matchmaker;
If for whatever reason, your friend sets you up with a lady or man that is not your type. This possibly will make you question your friendship. What the hell? Does this mean that my friend doesn’t know my qualities? Is that how lowly he values me? The friend may have done it unknowingly or thinking that the person in talk could best fit for you. For a solution, do not discuss the inadequacy of the date. Rather, ask your friend to give you reasons as to why they thought that date could have been a perfect date for you.
Some friends set up the date, then want to oversee the entire relationship. This is always tempting especially when things seem to be working out smoothly. And both parties always have private time with you and share nice pep-talk on how their relationship is moving on. As a matchmaker, you need to sit back and let things flow. Stop being a nuisance to the relationship.
When you don’t like the kind of guy or lady your friend picked for you, you might find him or her taking offense. Within their thoughts, they may think that you are insulting or undermining their taste of men or women. So, you ought to be careful not to shout out that you cannot and will never date such a person. You might end up taking toll of their emotions without knowing.
At the commencement of the relationship, things may run smoothly and then start grinding to a halt. Then all over a sudden the relationship cannot work, you’ll end up pulling and tagging your friend as he or she serves as a liaison between the two of you. At times, your friend may take sides or avoid taking sides by avoiding commenting negatively or blatant truth. This ends up leaving a bitter pill in the mouth. Or when they talk, they get involved in the crossfire, for easily offending either of you. They may speak and share of things that you wouldn’t have loved to listen to. Especially when they attempt to state the weaknesses and reasons that led to your relationship break up.
To avoid such incidences, there should a pre-agreement deal, which immediately after the match-make-up, there shall be no more involvement of the friend in your affairs.
When you wouldn’t like to cost your friendship at times this makes friends pretend to enjoy the date. As you pretend having enjoyed the date, you slowly fall into the pre-approved relationship; with time you start facing pressure within the relationship. All this arises, because your friend had talked nicely about the pre-planned date and all they were coming was to “YES” to the relationship.
Now that you have date, with whom your friend regards highly, you find it hard calling it off. You remain calm on the outside but pressures in the relationship. You live with a sense of guilt, not wanting to hurt your friend and not wanting to hurt your date. This is mostly caused when your friendship is so tight that you regard one another as a family.
When you are caged in such a relationship, you end up mistreating your date out of frustration which could hurt three-fold-feelings, for you, your friend and your date.
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