It’s summer. You’re single in Boston. You should be stoked! Living in one of the best cities with lots of places to meet and mingle, you’d think dating would be easy. But in speaking to local singles every day, I hear the same “myths” over and over again about how they’re unsuccessful in finding love. Here are my top 10 myths on being single in Boston:
1. Myth: She’s 30 and single. There must be something wrong with her.
Fact: Boston Strong! These fantastic women have everything going for them and a lot to offer. They’re smart, successful and they’re not going to settle.
2. Myth: Every guy over 50 wants a girl half his age
Fact: I do hear this from single women a lot. But, when I ask them how they’re meeting these men they inevitably ALWAYS say “online”. Remember if you’re meeting people outside of dating apps, there’s no number over your head with your age.
3. Myth: There are no great single guys in Boston.
Fact: Great guys have a lot going for them. They’re busy. They’re not hanging at the bar or swiping away for a date. I will say that exceptional people are exceptionally hard to find, but that’s one of the reasons my clients work with me.
4. Myth: Online dating apps are a great way to date in Boston.
Fact: Online dating apps are one way to date in Boston. It’s not the best way if you’re looking for relationship. Recently I hear from singles that there’s more messaging and less dating than ever before online.
5. Myth: There will be a right time to date, it’s just not now.
Fact: Ok that’s called an excuse. There’s always something happening in your life. It’s life! You have to be proactive dating if you want to meet a great person and get into a relationship.
6. Myth: Professional, educated, attractive women are hard to find in Boston.
Fact: Just like their exceptional male counterparts, these women are busy. They don’t waste their time chatting it up with guys at a bar. They know what they want and won’t settle. And I’m probably working for them as their matchmaker!
7. Myth: It’s more difficult to date after divorce.
Fact: Dating can be difficult at every stage of life! Granted, if you haven’t been in the dating scene for over a decade, the task can seem a bit daunting. But, you’re not the only divorced one out there. And with a little date coaching, you can get on the right track and have a great time.
8. Myth: I’m too busy/old/out of shape/etc. to date.
Fact: Here they are again, excuses. What’s really keeping you from moving forward is fear. Fear of being rejected, being disappointed, or being let down (again). One of the areas I work on in date coaching with my clients are their fears that keep them from getting into great relationships.
9. Myth: The chemistry wasn’t instantaneous on the date, so we’re not a match.
Fact: People are nervous on a first date. Singles that are introverted can find it especially difficult to open up right away. Plus, it’s just the first time meeting! If you’re on the fence, ALWAYS give it a second date. We’ve seem more relationships come from that than you know.
10. Myth: People who use matchmakers are desperate.
Fact: My clients work with me because they’re super selective and their time is very valuable.
They work with a professional matchmaker because they only want to date the best.
Aimee Burke is a Boston dating coach and matchmaker at LunchDates. Aimee specializes in date coaching for singles in the Boston area. She also serves as an executive matchmaker and recruits professional singles for her clients.
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