What to Talk About on a First Date

October 26, 2022

A first date should be an opportunity to get to know a new person in a casual, low-stress setting. A good conversation will give you a clear reading of the other person and, in turn, give them a good impression of you. Unfortunately, many daters fret about what to say, and their anxiety sabotages the conversation. 

Awkward silence can be the death knell of a first date, and talking too much or firing off too many questions may leave a bad impression. So, what should you talk about on your first date, and how should you pace yourself? 

Get the Ball Rolling

If you’re meeting someone for a date, chances are you already have some common ground. You may share mutual interests, or if you were set up, you may even have mutual friends.

Begin with topics where you know there’s some overlap. From there, be curious about your date’s answers and follow their lead. If you’re uncertain where to go next, try some of these ideas:

• Stay current. Ask about how their day or week has been.
• Stay familiar. Have they been to the location where you’re meeting before? What’s good to eat or drink here? 
• Add a compliment. Compliments are great ice breakers. If you notice something you like, don’t be shy.
• Favorites. Asking about a favorite song, food, or movie can be a good conversation starter. 
• Ask about family. Do they have kids? Are they close to their parents? How about pets?

Ask Questions That Beg Meaningful Answers

The way you ask questions can determine the type of answer your date gives. Form your questions so your date reveals some piece of their personality rather than simply stating facts or giving a yes or no.

Instead of simply asking “What do you do for work?” try to ask more probing questions about what they like about their job, how they got started in their industry and what a typical day is like. “Instead of saying “Where did you grow up?” try following up by asking “how did the place they grew up influence who you are now” or “what were some of your favorite things about the place they grew up in?” These types of follow up questions open up the conversation and give you a glimpse into the kind of person your date is.

Notice when your date becomes more talkative or energetic. Ask more about topics they seem passionate about instead of leading them down an energy-draining line of questions. Building energy on your first date is a valuable skill, and being an astute listener can make the other person feel more comfortable about opening up.

Start Things Out on the Right Foot

Conversation is easier when you’re seated in front of the right person. LunchDates of Boston is a matchmaking service that lines up dates for you based on your preferences in a potential mate and their interests. We take the heavy lifting out of dating so you can simply be yourself.

If you’re not sure what to talk about on your first date, our coaches can help turn that uncertainty into confidence. Give us a call today so you don’t miss out on Boston’s best dating pool.