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What No One Tells You About Online Dating

The world of dating can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to online dating apps. While people are quick to point out that their hair stylist’s cousin’s brother found his wife on a dating app, most people don’t like to talk about all the everyday realities that come with online dating. While it’s true that with time and dedication you may be able to find your special someone online, you’ll have to wade through a lot of to get there.

At LunchDates, we’ve heard plenty of horror stories when it comes to online dating. As professional matchmakers, we’ve heard it all. Here are just a few of the most common complaints we hear when it comes to dating apps.

The “Gentlemen”

When you’re swiping through profiles, you’ll often come across men saying things like “Just a gentleman living in a modern world” or “Treating Ladies right since 1989.” Does this prompt an eye roll for anyone else? You’re a gentleman? Someone saying that they’re a gentleman is like someone saying that they’re “not a murderer.” We assumed that you weren’t a murderer, but now that you’ve blatantly pointed out that you’re not, we’re questioning your sincerity. A lot of the time, when someone explicitly calls out they’re one thing, they’re usually not. Or their concept of the trait that they’re boasting is all wrong.


On many dating apps, they tell you that you can swipe right and left to your heart’s content. But in reality, you’ll only be able to swipe so many times or see so many profiles before you hit the dreaded paywall. Sometimes this paywall limits how much you can use an app, other times it keeps paying members separate from non paying members, promoting the idea that if you just pay a few more dollars each month, you’ll be allowed behind the magic curtain and find the love of your life. When in reality, all that separates the people in front of and behind the paywall is their willingness to hand over money to an unseen third party that will grant them their chance at love. Even more concerning is that many times these profiles have not been active for months or even years and the individuals don’t even know that their profiles are still showing after they’ve stopped paying.

Online Creeps

If you’ve ever received a lascivious picture, you know exactly what we’re talking about. Creeps abound online, and there’s very little you can do it. While you are able to report inappropriate behavior on most apps, there’s little that can then stop that same user from making a new account under a false name. With anything online, the potential for lying or cheating the facts is great. It’s true that some apps have verification measures that users can elect to use, such as photo verification or social media profile linking, it’s still incredibly easy for inappropriate behavior or catfishing to occur. Always be safe while using online apps, and never exchange any personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, or places of work.

Flaky Dates

When you’re online dating, it can be deceptively easy to find a date. You meet a nice man or woman online, chat for a few hours or days, and then decide to meet up for coffee or a drink. Then the next thing you know you’re left sitting alone at a table waiting for your date to show to no avail. When online dating, there’s nothing to keep your dates from flaking, because there’s no accountability. With a matchmaker, we have the power to then cut that person out of our dating pool, or when going on a date set up by a friend, your friend won’t be likely to set that person up on dates anymore.

Randomly Dropped Conversations

Do you ever feel like you’re really connecting with someone only to suddenly stop hearing from them all together? Many times there’s no rhyme or reason behind this sudden stop, and you’re left wondering if it was you or them. You can only be ghosted so many times before you’re bound to give up on the whole anonymous chatting thing. And again, there’s nothing to stop these ghosters from doing this again. Ghosting doesn’t violate the terms of use for most dating apps, so users are free to ghost away.

Split Second Matching

It takes all of two seconds to swipe left or right, leading users to go through dozens of potential suitors in one sitting. In your day-to-day life, this wouldn’t happen. If someone came up to you in a coffee shop or in the park, you’d give them more than 2 seconds of your time. Sure, you’d factor in immediate physical attractiveness, but being human you wouldn’t immediately shut them down if they were your “dream guy/girl.” You would make polite chit-chat and then go on your way. Maybe you’ll hit it off and exchange numbers, maybe not. But the interaction will definitely take more than a few seconds.

Stop the Swiping with LunchDates

It’s more than likely that you’ve had to deal with your fair share of annoying online dating clichés. But when does enough become enough? If you’re tired of swiping left and right in the pursuit of digital love, give our matchmakers a call. With data-driven tactics and insights, we’ll help you to make a real, meaningful connection. Say no to swiping and yes to simple; if you’re a Boston single, it’s time to call LunchDates.


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