Maybe you’ve survived the New Year without a scratch. It’s tough being single during the holiday season. Add in a New Year’s Eve party stag and a looming holiday for lovers just weeks away, and it’s enough to drive someone mad. I understand your insanity. If you’re like most of us, you’ve already jumped into the online dating scene only to be disappointed. Sure, you’re being proactive! But that doesn’t necessarily translate into results, or a relationship. Even on the good days, when a hopeful first date entices you to hit the makeup aisle and buy some new mascara, there’s that Valentine’s Day aisle to deal with. Rub it in much? Hmph!
There’s always that one person in the office on Valentine’s Day…
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Although, adding some sugary snacks (namely the chocolate kind) on said romantic holiday wouldn’t hurt. In fact, I task you with that as your first piece of homework when prepping to survive this day solo. Cupid says so! If you find yourself single on Valentine’s Day, whether you’ve just been dumped or have been watching the calendar as the months role onward, it’s not easy. So first things first, line up a treat for yourself.
Rule #1: Treat Yourself
Treating yourself isn’t some gimmicky way to feel good about yourself. It really works. Think about it; you’re probably cringing at all the stuff you’ve bought other people during the holiday season. Now you’re sitting there, looking out the window in January as the snow falls down, just dreading February 14th. Even if it goes against your nature, buy yourself a few snacks or a new outfit for Valentine’s Day this year. Trust me, it’ll make you feel better. And besides, a little “credit card therapy” never hurt anyone.
What would you buy you for Valentine’s Day?
Rule #2: Rally the Posse
You need to know that you are not alone. Every single person feels it. The self-check. “Gee, am I really fulfilled being alone, or do I want more?” Keeping with kindred spirits, and possibly sharing some, takes the sting out of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Whether it’s arranging a spa day or just chatting it up on the phone, having a shoulder to cry on—and laugh with—is worth it. It heals the heart. How many friendships have you been blessed with in your life? Friends (at least in my experience) can get you through freaking hell and back, especially when it comes to relationships.
You can vent to your friends.
Rule #3: Chill the Hell Out
If you’re really digging into tips on how to stay sane during this holiday, I’m guessing you’re pretty stressed out. I get it. If you’ve been trying so hard to find love, only for it to continually escape you, it can get frustrating. If you haven’t spoken to a professional matchmaker yet, I encourage you to do so. But, not everyone wants to admit they need help. Spend money to find love? Ridiculous! Hmm… Hold up. If you’re on a paid website for dating, you’re paying to find love. If you’re on a free website, you’re paying to find love. (After all, you’re allowing it to share your information with advertisers that pop up.) And if you’ve completely given up, then you’re probably not finding any dates at all. There are tons of single people. Lots. But not tons for you. In fact, there are just a rare few, and exceptional people want exceptional partners.
Desperate does not look good on anyone.
LOVE WILL FIND A WAY, BUT YOU HAVE TO LET IT
The worst part of suffering through a holiday like this one is to continue doing things that don’t work. If you really do want to be in a relationship, take time to examine what is and isn’t working. With New Year’s resolutions fading fast into the sunset, we go back to our old ways. This applies to our dating habits, too. And unconscious sabotage or bad behaviors are not going to get you anywhere. Luckily, there are plenty of cupids out there to help you. Give them a call.
Aimee Burke has over a decade of experience as a relationship coaching professional. She is an avid writer and researcher for the Boston dating scene. She’s also the main contributor to LunchDates’ dating advice blog.
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