On your list of things you absolutely must do in the New Year, is falling in love one of them? In the midst of your newest diet fad or latest conviction, romance is one of those ever-elusive goals that we scribble on paper without the faintest idea of how to achieve it.
By Valentine’s Day, you have an 80% chance of NOT fulfilling your New Year’s wish list. Yikes. That’s not very encouraging. Keep it simple. Make it tangible. That may be straightforward when it comes to an exercise plan. Join a great health club, hire a personal trainer to keep you accountable, measure progress. Sounds pretty simple, right?
Imagine the challenge of laying out a plan for love without the help of a dating coach or professional matchmaker. What would you do? I will always recommend professional support if you’re really serious about any endeavor, even in the New Year. Whether that’s starting a retirement plan, saving for college for your kids, losing 30 pounds or falling in love. Sound strange? It shouldn’t. To get you started, let me give you some other tips on how to get back into the dating game in the New Year, especially if it’s been a long time.
Courage. Do you remember what it felt like to really put yourself out there? When you’ve been out of the dating game, it can seem very intimidating to meet new people. Divorce, work commitments, raising a family, there’s always something pulling at you. But what’s pulling on your heart? Do you know what matchmakers hear when they ask singles why they aren’t dating? Excuses. And excuses, and excuses. Tell me one. Tell me right now why you’re not out there meeting people? Just like procrastination, excuses will get you nowhere. And giving up is even worse! That’s when fear has taken over and you can’t move. Love like you’ve never been hurt; you know the saying. Be courageous in love. It will pay dividends for a lifetime.
Gentlemen, I love you. And yes, this tip is something you should pay attention to. The three-day rule, no offense, was designed for daters back in the day. And if it’s been some time since you’ve last dated, I have an update for you: We live in the age of instant gratification and swiping. Didn’t like me back? Delete! Didn’t answer my email correctly? Delete! Didn’t set up a phone call right away? Delete!
And this symptom of waiting and seeing, like the classic game of cat and mouse, is even more difficult today than ever before. We don’t want to look desperate, but we have to act quickly if we want to keep the attention of our love interests. Setting up a first date or a second date a week or two weeks from today (if you’re meeting online) will not prove fruitful. Why? Because online dating provides both men and women with thousands of choices of matches instantly. If you can’t see her tonight, someone else can.
No, not actual sex. I mean, if you have been single for a while, that would eventually be great. But I digress… Act sexy, flirty and playful. Did you know that one of the top traits that attract men to women is playfulness? You’re welcome. Easier said than done if you’re so tightly wound that you’ve forgotten how to have fun. If you’re a women, amplify your femininity. If you’re a guy, project your masculine energy. Why? Only by creating those polar opposites will you ignite that chemistry you’re looking for. Ignite it, baby! Embrace your inner animal.
Sometimes a girl just needs an excuse to look at Tom Brady. Meow! If you are getting back out there, whatever your reasons, you might struggle with creating sex appeal. Not your fault, don’t worry! The act of courtship is an art. If you’ve been out of the game, you don’t know how to play. There are professionals out there who can help you. Don’t knock it! Just look at our hunk up there, jumping around all hunky-like. Tom Brady knows how to play football. Don’t you agree? And how many “coaches” does this man have? He wins because he wants to win and understands the value of expert advice and strategy.
Can we take your phone for a moment? You’ll have plenty of time to download a new dating app in January and get all fired up about a New Year’s resolution for love. Yes, dating apps will be at an all-time high in January. But most of us will be giving up just in time to buy that heart-shaped box of chocolates. This can be your year. You can get back into the dating game at any age, and the amount of time you’ve been single means nothing. What matters is your desire to try. Working with experts is not necessary, but it works. Good luck out there. Make 2018 fantastic!
Aimee Burke has over a decade of experience as a relationship coaching professional. She is an avid writer and researcher for the Boston dating scene. She’s also the main contributor to LunchDates’ dating advice blog.
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